


I’m there

by Sydbond



Series: Softer [2]
Category: The Brave (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jaz in the hospital, Sex talks, adam visiting, avoiding pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:04:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15395397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sydbond/pseuds/Sydbond
Summary: Following Tehran, Adam can’t bring himself to go see Jaz in the hospital.





	I’m there

**Author's Note:**

> Softer time :))))))) It’s been a long while and I have one or two planned (including KMH’s prompt), but I realized I just can’t bring myself to stop writing those softer stories haha!

McG walks back inside the hut, shoulders down and jaw clenched. Adam raises his head from the report he has been failing to work on - his thoughts are too occupied by a raven haired sniper who’s in bad shape. McG has just been visiting Jaz to the hospital, where she’s been since they arrived from Tehran, and he does not look happy. 

« What’s the matter? » he asks the medic, because he’s the only one who can translate the medical jargon. He also happens to be the one who is practically always visiting Jaz, and Adam might be trying to stay as far from her bruises as possible, but he still wants to know everything about her and her state. 

McG looks both angry and defeated, obviously not a combination Adam likes to see when it comes to news about Jaz. « She’s getting better, but she’s not responding well, »

« What do you mean? » Adam stops writing completely, shutting down the computer and pushing the papers away. 

« She’s tense, buck headed, refuses to admit that she’s not mentally in a good place right now, »

« Well that’s Jaz, » Adam shrugs, although his heart is not in it. He’s been worried about her. He’s always worried about her, but it’s been worse lately. Because once they got her back, the relief kicked in, but it soon went away when they came back to the base and found how badly she’d been beaten. 

McG hesitates before he speaks again. His head whips around, making sure they’re alone. « It might do her some good to see you, » 

« Me? » Adam does his best not to look too hopeful. 

« You know, she’s- _closer_ to you, » 

What McG doesn’t say is that Adam also is close to her. That it’ll do _him_ some good to see her. He tried to stay away, for her sake just as much as his, but she’s been invading his every thought. Now he finds himself with a rushing heart every time he realizes she’s not right next to him, only to be reminded that she’s at the hospital. Safe. Getting better. 

Adam has seen her injuries up close, and the face he made at them only served to darken her eyes more, so he decided to retreat, to let McG step in. He knows that he’s not what Jaz needs at the moment. She is what _he_ needs, but Adam has always placed her needs before his own and he’s not about to stop now. Jaz should have rest and understanding, not a desperate and clingy CO who only wants to hold her until he’s sure that she’s breathing. 

« She asked for you, wanted to know why you didn’t come back, » McG tells him slowly, easing the words into the space between them like a tentative foot in cold water. 

Adam swallows the tight ball in his throat. _Why didn’t he come back?_

Because he can’t stand the sight of her beaten and bruised. 

Because she stares at him with those eyes that make him want to fold like laundry and sneak her out of the hospital just because she hates it. 

Because he wants too many things lately when it comes to Jaz and he’s afraid of letting it show when his emotions are so raw. 

Adam lets out a sigh as McG holds his gaze, rubbing his beard and wondering what to answer. « I don’t like seeing her in pain, » he finally admits, because it’s true even if it’s not the whole truth. 

« Not seeing you _is_ causing her pain, » 

It’s the closest McG has ever come to acknowledging this _thing_ between him and Jaz. Preach doesn’t hesitate to elude to it, Amir sends furtive glances their way once in awhile, but McG is different. He’s more Jaz’s than Adam’s and for him to be admitting that Jaz needs Adam is a little monumental. And if he’s willing to actually tell Adam that she needs to see him, that she asked for him, it must be because Jaz really isn’t feeling well. 

Not seeing her is causing him pain too. But he figured out he was causing her more pain by being next to her and feeling like a failure for not being able to protect her. Apparently he couldn’t have been more wrong. He’s used to seeing Jaz all the time, to hear her quiet breaths, to sense her tiny presence by his right side. She’s just always been _there_. Until Tehran. 

Adam wishes everyday that he didn’t snap at her after she took a shot, that he didn’t let his emotions take control. If he hadn’t been so fucking worried about her, he wouldn’t have made a scene and she wouldn’t have decided to jump on the stupidest and riskiest mission they’d ever done. Sure it’s would have been a bummer not to kill Jarif, but Jaz would have remained safe. She should be sleeping in her room, right next to Adam’s, where he can hear her slow breaths and the tiny sounds she makes as she sleeps. 

« I’ll go, » mumbles Adam, holding his hand out for the SUV keys. 

McG grins at him, handing them with a metallic clang. « She’ll grumble and pretend that she didn’t miss you, but on the inside she’ll be jumping up and down. Jazzy likes to make people fight a little for her affections, » 

« Don’t I know that, » Adam rolls his eyes, remembering how long it took for Jaz to warm up to Amir, how long it took for _him_ to earn her respect.

He drives to the hospital, feeling increasingly uneasy. He knows he’s been avoiding her and if McG has been speaking the truth, she should be in one of her moods when she sees him. Jaz tends to answer to every feeling with defense, not that he’s given her any reason not to be defensive with him. 

Jaz is in a small private room, head propped on her hand, reading a book with an unconvinced expression. He recognizes it from battered cover; it’s one of the books he has been trying to force on her for months. Adam tries not to make any sound as he comes into the room, but Jaz must have some sort of sixth sense because she barely raises her eyes from her page as she calls him out.

« This book is horrible, Top, » she tells him before closing it. 

« It’s a Ken Follet, they’re all good, » Adam replies, looking at her with an amused look. « Where you at? »

« Ethel is spectacularly failing at chaperoning Maud and Walter, » Jaz answers as Adam chuckles at her unconvinced tone. 

He walks up to her, noticing the obscene amount of chocolates and flowers stacked next to her bed. « The guys went overboard, » Jaz rolls her eyes. « Feel free to eat as much as you want, » 

Adam takes a box, one of Jaz’s favorite and sinks into a chair next to her. He offers her the open box and she picks the cherry one, popping it into her mouth with the same appetite he’s always associated with Jaz. Staring at the flowers and gifts, he suddenly feels very bad for avoiding her. None of the guys have. But then again, none of the guys have had to watch her half naked body disappearing under bruises as the doctors tried to figure out what exactly happened to her. 

He hasn’t found it in himself to actually explore how deep his feelings for Jaz go, but he knows that they run stronger than they should. He couldn’t even phantom himself leaving Tehran without her, would have been ready to burn the whole city to the ground if that was what it took to bring her back home. It scared him, to see how far he would go for her and he let her cling to him on the way back because he _needed_ to touch her. 

And when she didn’t let go of his hand and the doctors let him stay in the room as they examined her body, he could feel her dark eyes on him, asking him why did he let her do this? Why didn’t he rescue her in that garage? Why didn’t he come sooner? He’d catalogued every mark, saved it for later thoughts, and her gaze had darkened on him when she’d caught him doing it. 

That moment had been the tipping point. He was causing her pain just by seeing her injuries. So Adam had chosen to retreat and to let the guys shower her with candy and flowers while he stayed at the hut, trying to complete the paperwork and doing his best to ignore that Jaz was in that situation because of him. 

« Give it a try, » Adam’s voice breaks the silence, his chin jutting out in the book’s direction. « It’s actually really good if you keep pushing past the first impression, » 

« Kind of like Amir, » Jaz smiles softly at him.

« Like you did with me, » Adam chuckles, and to his surprise Jaz looks offended. Adam realizes that Jaz had no idea how standoffish she appeared when she first joined them. 

« I never had a bad impression of you, » Jaz corrects. Her voice is small, unlike the loud and confident tone she usually has.

« Excuse me? » he pushes because he remembers how it took weeks before Jaz finally opened up to any of them. The only one she talked to was Elijah, and it had worried him at first. He’d even thought there maybe was something between them until she finally warmed up to McG. 

« I never did. » This time she looks affronted, her nose scrunches up and her hands ball into fists.

« You barely talked to me for a month, » 

« Didn’t have good experiences with last COs, » shrugs Jaz, voice once again softening. Her eyes slant sideways and she clears her throat, suddenly uncomfortable. « And I was a little starstruck, »

« Starstruck, yeah? » Adam teases her, but her cheeks turn red and he changes the subject, switching it to her recovery. « So apparently you’re getting better, » 

« Yeah, » she says with a far away look in her eyes.

Call it almost losing her or that _thing_ that’s between them and that he can no longer ignore, but he leaves his chair to sit by her in her hospital bed. « What’s the matter Jaz? You can talk to me you know, » 

« It’s stupid really. » Her cheeks are even more red now and she still runs away from his gaze. 

« Nothing is stupid, » Adam grabs her hand in a bold move, hoping the physical connexion might push her to reveal what’s bothering her. 

« It’s just that- » Jaz huffs, eyes flying up to the ceiling. «Well I’m gonna miss sex, »

That might have been a conversation tailor made for McG, Adam realizes. Out of all the things he expected, a conversation about sex _with Jaz_ definitely wasn’t on the list. He’s thought about the two things -Jaz and sex- many times, usually very associated and _together_ , but thinking about a naked and writhing Jaz in the safety of his room is not the same as talking about it with her in her bed.

Adam clears his throat, but his hand remains wrapped around hers. « I didn’t realize you had to be restricted in your humm, physical activities, »

« I’m not. Not anymore. But why would anyone want to sleep with me when I’m covered in scars? » 

He searches for her eyes, but they remained obstinately glued to the old blue blanket she’s been covered with. Adam’s mind goes back to the night when Michael died, how she creeped into his bed and held him as he fell apart, how he ended up kissing her. He’s still unsure if she wanted to kiss him, or if she didn’t object out of empathy. Screw this. There is this stunning and strong woman next to him who is obviously not responding well at all. _His girl_ is not feeling well and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t help her. 

« Jazzy, you’re beautiful and anyone who doesn’t see strength and determination can go screw themselves, » 

Her eyes rise up to his and her fingers grip his with renewed strength. « You really mean it? »

« Yeah I do, » he says, noticing the smile that creeps on her face. Even though shielded by a curtain of hair, he still sees it and it makes him smile in return. 

He ends up spending the night on her bed, just the two of them. Jaz falls asleep on his shoulder and her body wraps around his. His arms circle her waist, holding her close to him as his nose buries in her hair so he can inhale her distinctive smell. He’s not sure if he’s trying to reassure her or himself, but he feels like he’s protecting her and that’s good enough for now. 

 

xxxxx

 

Jaz comes back home a few days later. McG picks her up and Adam gives her one of his rare smiles when she crosses the threshold of the hut. She goes into her room and drops her bag on the floor, sinking into her bed to rise up just as quickly. 

There’s a single flower there, a not yet bloomed white peony, her favorite. There’s a card next to it, with a few lines written in Adam’s messy scrawl. 

_Almost as pretty as you_

**Author's Note:**

> So.... what did you think? What do you want next? At this point, this series is half prompts so if you want something next, comment or tweet or message me on tumblr... you know where to find me ;)


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